I am honestly trying to get back into blogging more regularly. Things have been so overwhelming lately that I’ve struggled just with normal everyday tasks let alone extra things.

I have tried to quell my own fears and anxieties of everything that has been going wrong with my body since last March; but have had little success. So I made a call to my primary care physician. And after some discussion he thinks I had COVID-19 again in November/December.

I think part of me knew that already, I just kept hoping – probably foolishly so – that it was just a bad cold.

However since that episode of illness over the holidays all my post-COVID long hauler symptoms have gotten worse.

1. My sense of smell is always off. Either I can’t smell things, I smell things that aren’t there, or things that I used to love smell gross.
2. My sense of taste is also off. I’ve had to make a long list of food I can’t eat anymore because it just doesn’t taste appetizing anymore. For instance – black olives. I used to love eating them whether in things or by themselves. Now when I try to eat them they taste like something rotten in my mouth.
   Other food items that don’t taste the same anymore that I used to love: burgers, french fries, and any sandwich with meat on it.
3. Brain fog. This has probably the worse contributor to me not writing regularly. I struggle to remember things that happened five minutes ago, let alone anything else. I grew up being the girl who could remember things from when I was 2 or 3 years old. Now I can’t remember a lot of what happened in the last year.
4. Chronic headaches and migraines. I have suffered with migraines from years, yet since COVID-19 they have gotten worse. Now I will fluctuate from daily headaches to bi-weekly migraines. So there’s rarely a day when I’m not in pain.
5. Chronic fatigue. I beat COVID-19 round 1 at the end of June 2020. And it took me until October to finally be able to walk and do everyday things without being drained. Since being sick with potentially COVID-19 round 2 in November 2020 and recovering in February 2021 — the fatigue has not let up. I have many days where I’m too tired to do anything. And everytime I push myself too far I regret it the next three days.

Of course I already suffer from anxiety and depression. I have been dealing with both since long before COVID-19. But as you can imagine all the additional physical issues have only made my depression and anxiety worse. With the increased depression and anxiety – I have also experienced a great deal of insomnia. With increased anxiety, depression and a lack of sleep has compounded to make all my physical issues worse.

I have an appointment set with a neurologist to hopefully figure out what’s going on with the brain fog and the worsening migraines and headaches. I have blood tests to figure out if I had COVID-19 a second time (but considering the first time I never had the antibodies for it I’m not holding my breath I will this time). And hopefully the blood tests will just rule out anything else that might be physically wrong.

Its been a rough few months but I’m still hanging in there somehow. I’m really blessed I have my family, my fiancé, my fiancé’s family and my friends. They have truly lifted me up when things have knocked me down. I’ll be the first to admit I’ve had some dangerously low times but thanks to my support system I‘ve made it to the next day.

Stay healthy. Stay safe.

-Brianna